And a year later..

Okay, I am the worst blogger ever. Already admitted this and honestly, I feel no shame :) However, since I created this blog one year ago today I feel the need to at least address the last year's occurrences since I obviously haven't blogged about it!

The top 10 wonderful things that occurred in 2009:

1. Ella. Any year that brought this happy, loving girl into my life could never be deemed anything but wonderful.
2. Gabrielle's full recovery. Again, this year brought back Gabrielle to a fully healthy young lady. Though she's growing up way too fast!!
3. My husband. He's fabulous. He has faith when I do not, he makes me laugh when I feel everything is falling apart, he is an amazing father and he's basically just all around amazing. Most of the time ;)
4. Ethan. Oh Ethan. He is my source of constant laughter as well as frequent frustration. I can not image my world before he was a part of it. Love him. Enough said.
5. My parents. Amazing. All around, completely amazing. Their belief in me, support of me and constant love has never waivered. I know now more then ever, that they will always be my biggest cheerleaders, and have more faith and trust in me then anyone probably should. Thanks :)
6.Luck. This year has just been plain lucky for me. *knock on wood* Everything has happened the way it should right when it should. Someone said sometime "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” I'm not sure about that, but I am just happy to have been lucky.
7. Learning. I have learned so much. I have learned what I am capable of, who I am not, who I can count on, who I can trust and most importantly, I am again reminded of what really counts in life and for me, it's all about my family.
8. Trust. I have been lucky (again) enough to have some pretty fabulous people put their faith in me this year. My year would have turned out far differently if these folks hadn't trusted in me. I try and remember each day to earn that trust and do everything I can to make sure I don't let them down.
9. A job I love and the opportunity to make it what I believe it should be. Enough said.
10. A positive attitude. This year, I believe this has been extremely important in my life. This year hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. I have learned to appreciate what is great and focus on that. Life is too short to complain or feel sorry for yourself. Anyone with as many blessings as I have would be a fool to feel anything but blessed.

So that's it. My year, and a good one it was. Even without pictures on my blog to prove it :)

Three years and two months

So I am a bad blogger. Inconsistent at best. So here is a quick update:

Ella:
Today was her 2 month check-up and she's doing well. Got her first shots and she handled it like a champ and is sleeping away. She let out a quick cry that I had never heard before and then it was over. I am sure by 4 months she'll be more aware of what happened to her and punish me sufficiently for allowing her to be hurt in such a way. She's 10 pounds 3 ounces and only 21.5". I like her small and cute, but part of me wishes she would get bigger so I could put her in her cute clothes!! She's now slept through the night several times (including last night 8pm-6am) and I was worried that she wasn't getting enough food, but the Dr. says it's okay, so I am going to relax and enjoy it!! She's smiling big smiles and cooing away - too cute! Love her. Great baby. Polar opposite of Ethan as a baby who didn't sleep through the night regularly until almost 6 months!

Ethan:
Almost 3! Party is this weekend as we will be at the beach on his birthday and a party with Nana is simply not okay! He's stubborn as a mule. Won't go to the potty for anything. Tried everything and nothing is working!!! He's going to school in the fall and MUST be potty trained. Starting to get worried. I know he can do it, he's just refusing. Heck, he wouldn't even say his name for almost 2 years, though he was fully capable - just stubborn. Don't know what I am going to do with that boy!! So adorable though - loving and mischievous, a boy through and through. Everything he does makes me laugh, it's hard to be strict with him. Eats like a horse, skinny as can be. Still in 2T clothes and many of those are too big. He attracts kindness. When we go to the market, he admires the apples. So far he has acquired 3 free apples to munch on as we wander around. Went to a baseball game, someone gave us free tickets because "You don't need to be standing in this line with that cute little boy." He just walks around smiling, saying "Hi I am Ethan Grey" and people melt. Crazy! He's now allergic to peanuts, cashews and almonds. Dan and I have always joked about the schools that don't allow peanuts and now we have to be those parents!! Carry the epi pen around with us, reading packages, warning anyone we leave him with. My poor boy! What kind of life is it without peanut butter?! After a month of knowing about his allergy, I am just now getting the nerve to open a jar of peanut butter in my house. It's terrifying thinking something so simple could hurt my little man.

Me:
Back at work and it's okay so far. Presenting a HUGE proposal to Roanoke County Schools on Monday for my voc training course for special ed students. Wish me luck! Had a melt down yesterday because I often feel like a bad wife/mom for not having time to do everything that I want to for my family. I love my job, but really would give it up in a heartbeat to stay at home with my kids. Today is better though - I'll find a way to make it all work! And my kids having a house, food and clothing is a plus - so work is necessary, for now.

I can't possibly be this lucky

Well, I have gotten really behind on all of my on-line addictions but with good reason :)
Ella arrived on April 15th! As I laid in the prep room awaiting surgery, I watched our president refer to my little lady's birthday as a day dreaded by all of America. Dan and I finally both disagreed with something Obama said (usually Dan is the one that disagrees)! She was 7lbs and 18 3/4 - tiny, but perfect! Everything went well and there were no complications with her or I.
We have been busy since, settling in and finding our new routine. I must say it's been incredibly easy so far. I almost feel guilty admitting this and know that it won't last forever, but so far she's the perfect baby! She hasn't cried for more than five minutes at a time and is already sleeping for at least a four hour stretch every night. Now that I have fessed up to that, I am sure she will be awake all night!
Ethan has adjusted remarkably well and seems to like having a new sister. Dan brought him to the hospital on our second day and he went straight to the kissing and hugging of his new sister. He likes 'helping' with taking care of his sister. Gabrielle won't let her out of her sight, and has currently been holding her for over an hour. Ms. Ella will certainly be spoiled.
We have managed to get out and about and even made a quick trip to the store today as a family of 5 with no problems to report! Again, soon enough I am sure things will get more difficult.
Dan has taken the whole week off and it's been so lovely having him home to spoil us and not having to think about work at all. He's more than fallen in love with Ella and I am convinced she will definitely be a Daddy's girl. I am not looking forward to next week when he goes back to work!!
I am going to be lazy and not post any pictures now, because honestly I don't feel like walking in the kitchen to get the camera - but I promise the camera has been busy and I will post pics of the little lady soon. For now, you will just have to trust that she's beautiful. I am going to go back to hanging out with my beautiful family now :)

She's coming!

Ella will be here by this time tomorrow! I was due yesterday and had my weekly checkup this morning. I finally got to see Dr. Stewart today (she seems to be a popular doctor) and as usual, she was very straightforward with us - which I tend to like. My blood pressure was considerably up and according to her I am not making much progress naturally. She thought I could still be two weeks away from going in to labor! After spending the day at the hospital waiting on test results to decide if I would have her today or we could wait until tomorrow it was decided that she and I were well enough to wait one more day. While I was hopeful about a 'natural' delivery, I am surprisingly okay with the thought of another C-Section. It probably doesn't hurt that the idea of remaining pregnant for two more weeks is not at all exciting.

I guess my biggest fears with having a C-Section aren't really as much of a factor this time which is calming. After Ethan was born, I felt so weary and so miserable - largely because I was sick in addition to the surgery. Though my platelet count is down, it's not horrible and I don't have HELLP syndrome so I am thinking it won't be as tough physically.

My other fear was that I didn't feel that woo hoo bond with Ethan right away. I think this was partially because of the C-Section and partially because he was so early that I was in shock. I was thinking about this earlier this afternoon and was reading some information about bonding with your baby. I came across this: http://baby.families.com/blog/bonding-with-baby

This made so much sense to me! While I didn't bond with Ethan the way I wish I had right away, I am certainly bonded to him now. I can't imagine my life without him and am so amazed and blessed by him everyday. So it really doesn't matter that the sun wasn't instantly brighter right after I held him, it matters that it happened. Eventually I connected with my little man and that connection and is stronger than I ever imagined.

It also hasn't hurt to have gone through Gabrielle's health problems so recently. Dan was saying earlier that this week has really been a rough week for everyone and this fit right into that picture. I quickly reminded myself and him that it hasn't been rough, it's been easy. We have a wonderful, healthy and largely happy family. Everything might not always go the way we wish it would, but at the end of the day, we have everything we could ever want or need. We have each other and plenty of friends and family with whom we can share our lives. That's what's important, even if it doesn't always go the way we would prefer.

So... tomorrow we go and do it again and I am excited :) I'm nervous, but excited. Ethan is with MeMe and Dan and I are enjoying a quite evening at home and hoping for plenty of sleep - something I am sure we won't see again for quite a while. I can't wait to see what she looks like and what kind of person she is going to be :)

The waiting game

Well, still on bed rest - but everyone is healthy so that's okay. Only 10 more days until my due date and it looks like I will make it until then without needing any kind of intervention - yay! I am dilated, but only slightly. The plus? I am hoping all this rest will come in handy after she arrives and the sleep deprivation arrives. So we'll just wait and I will continue to resist my urges to clean (for the most part anyway).

Ethan... still too cute. Last night he was standing in the bay window looking at the birds and pretending to fly away with them. This appears to be one of his new favorite hobbies. He flaps his arms, screams 'tweet tweet' and thinks he can go! Last week I went to pick him up from my parents and he saw some birds in the yard. We stopped to look at them and before I knew it he had ran off towards them screaming, "Wait, I come with you!! Tweet tweet!". I had to chase him through two yards before I could catch my little bird. Sooner or later, I am determined to capture this on video, but he always gets too interested in the camera and stops playing!

I am starting to worry that I might miss out on some of these moments with a new baby in the house, but am working with Dan to ensure we get time with both of the little ones. Parents all over the world seem to work this out, so I am sure we will as well.

Round 2

Bed rest. That's the verdict. For now I suppose :) Friday I went to the doctor for my weekly appointment and my bp was up. I tried to explain that I had just had a stressful morning and after two minutes in the office laying on my side in the dark with Dan kindly rubbing my back and saying nice things, it went down. Evidently this means that work is too stressful and I need to be home. More blood tests and my platelet count was back down and another one of my counts were off, so she said that 'bed rest is define telly justified'. Yay. After a few days of taking it 'easy' I am beginning to wonder if I can make it three whole weeks doing nothing! I will go crazy! Of course, if it keeps Ella and I healthy, I will be a good patient and try my best to be still. I go back to the doctor today and we plan on asking her best guess as to how she sees this going. At this point, I can't imagine that my hopes of a natural birth is a real possibility and am starting to wonder if we should just go ahead and schedule a c-section. There is something appealing about knowing when the little lady will come, especially after so many times of thinking that today's the day. I am three weeks away from my due date, but Dr. Stewart thinks Ella's hanging in like a champ. Anyway, I hope to have some answers today - I can't stand not knowing what will happen!! I am too much of a planner for all this uncertainty. I suppose that's a lesson that I need some work on anyway :) As long as everyone's healthy I can stick it out.

Well, we are getting close! Ella only has about three more weeks before her scheduled arrival, and I am ready!!! Last week we thought we were going to get to meet her early - but she's decided to wait. I went for my weekly visit last week and Dr. Stewart said I had some protein in my urine. So, Dan and I immediately went into the 'it's happening again mode'. She sent me for some blood work and Dan and I half expected the same kind of phone call that we received with Ethan, telling us to come on in to the hospital. After a few hours of sitting by the phone waiting for her to call us back, the phone finally rang. She said that my platelet count was low and wanted me to come back the next day for more blood work and told me if it was still low, the chances of a C-Section were strong. Strangely, I wasn't that scared - Ethan had come much sooner and was fine, so I assumed all would be well with the little lady as well. What did freak me out was that I was not ready - again! I felt fine so I went to work and made a list of everything that would need to be taken care of while I was gone, went home to pack our bags and clean the house. We managed to get everything ready by the next morning. I went first thing to get my blood taken and began the waiting game again. When Dr. Stewart finally called she said that my platelet count was up but she wanted me to come back on Monday to do it all again. She said she had asked other doctors for their opinions and called it an sort of enigma. That's me. By this point, I was actually disappointed that we wouldn't be meeting Ella and frustrated with the idea of having to go through this regularly wondering if today would be the day! After more tests and more waiting on Monday, Dr. Stewart called and said it was 'interesting' but my counts were all back in the normal range and we could stop the tests for now. She still didn't understand what was happening, but all looked okay. Whew. Now I am back to counting on mid-April. Hopefully. Full term is always best of course, no matter how impatient I may be :)

In other news, can I say I love Ethan?! He's too cute. Everything is adorable. It's causing problems. How can I properly discipline a two year old when I can't stop laughing at him?! I am working on it, but it's hard to get tough! I find myself just wanting to take around a recorder to tape all of his ramblings, but I don't think that's too practical. Anyway, he's so curious that when we do get the video camera out he just want to be the one recording, not be recorded.

He's going around saying thinks like 'I do it Mama, I do it' insisting on trying to take care of everything himself - even if it's way too difficult for him quite yet. Like pour his own milk - can you imagine? We are trying to let him do as much as he can, or at least help, but he really just wants to do it on his own! I am starting to realize that he's going to be big soon and it's making me really sad!!! He's learning and growing so fast, I can hardly keep up. Last night we were playing with the seek and say and he could tell me the difference between the duck and the goose, the turkey and the chicken. He's been good at his animals for a while now, but I thought it was really something to be able to tell the difference between animals that looked so similar. I don't even know when or how he learned it! I want him to stay little! Yesterday morning, he said 'I little Mama' pretending to be a baby - I told him he could stay little as long as he wanted.

8 more weeks!

Well, we had another check-up and ultrasound this morning. I am so excited because everything looks great!! My placenta has moved up and out of the way and there are still no signs of toxemia or hellp to be found. Yay! Ella is 3 pounds 13 ounces and in the 51st percentile. Ethan is still hanging on to the 25th percentile so that certainly is a change! She's doing everything she should be doing and growing well, so I am really excited at the thought of having a full term, complication-free pregnancy!!! It's getting really close and I am getting nervous, but for the most part I am getting really excited at the thought of a new baby. Our preparations are moving along and I feel like our house should be 'newborn ready' in time for our little lady. Being prepared always makes me happy :)Tomorrow we start childbirth classes, and considering we never made it that far before I am excited to see what it's all about!

The weather has been in the high 50's and 60's and this is certainly helping my chipper mood :) We have been playing with Ethan outside at night and he loves it! Dan is trying to make him a soccer player, but as far as I can tell he really prefers to pitch! Ethan is just getting so big and is so darn cute I can barely stand it. He is answering questions and saying what he wants and what he doesn't want quite clearly and stubbornly. When I say "Love you Ethan" he sweetly replies "Love you too Mama". I think that's the best. Simple, but great. He is awfully stubborn though, a trait I am afraid he couldn't escape with two stubborn parents. Dan has also inspired my little man to be a cook, demanding to mix anything that needs to be stirred. Now if I could just convince him he is still too small to use the stove safely!

Gabrielle had her reversal surgery this week and did really well! She is being released from the hospital today. Couldn't ask for better. She will be back up and running around soon enough and this whole nightmare will be behind us. She's a tough lady and has handled this better than most adults would. I am so proud of her and hopes she knows how special she is :)

We are blessed and spring is coming! Perfect.

Our Weekends....

Dan recently came up with the idea that we needed some weekend "traditions". So as simple as it may be, for about two months now we have been trying out new ways to enjoy our time at home with our family. To start of the weekend, on Saturdays we go to the library. Ethan has really taken a liking to going every Saturday. He asks us to read him his "libary book" and screams "there it is" as we approach the library every Saturday afternoon. He really enjoys the puppets, has learned that we live on Earth from the globe they have, and is even getting interested in the puzzles - something he doesn't care so much about at home. Every Saturday, we pick out movies for him to enjoy (currently, his favorite is anything Thomas the Train) and he goes around picking up many books saying "this book, this book" until he finally settles on just a few. The only part that he has found difficult is when we check out. He's not a fan of handing over the books for even a minute, but always says thank you to the librarian upon returning them to his tiny hands.

Sunday's are pancake day. This is Ethan's favorite. For many nights now, he stands at his gate at screaming "hot cakes, eat hot cakes" hoping that the next day is Sunday and he will get one of the few sweet treats we allow him to have. I suppose this is my fault, for two weeks ago I tried to explain to him on a Saturday night that tomorrow was Sunday and he would have pancakes, thinking it would make him excited for our next day together. Well, I was right that he would be excited - just underestimated how excited.

In addition to our pancakes, for the last two weeks we have added a bit of exploring to our Sundays. Last week on the parkway, this week by the river. I suppose this has something to do with our cabin fever in combo with the unusually warm weather we have had so far this winter. This Sunday, Gabrielle was able to join us - Yay! She was a bit hesitant at her ability to do some of the walking and exploring, but with just a little prompting she joined right in the fun. I think we are going to start a scrapbook of some sort with the places that we visit, right here close to the 'Burg.

I realize that this isn't the most extravagant or even time consuming traditions, but that's kinda what I like about it. No real pressure or time table, just a few things to encourage Dan and I to enjoy time with the kiddies, rather than working all weekend long. It seems like every week goes by so fast, that it is more and more important for us to take a few minutes here and there to really enjoy what it is that we are working for.

In Ella news, I am now about seven months along and seem to be doing pretty well! I haven't experienced any of the problems I had with Ethan and hope it continues along that way :) She's a kicker and moving around quite a bit. We are slowly but surely reorganizing the house, trying to make room for everything a new baby will bring into our home. I am set on making sure we are prepared this time and am trying to make sure that when she decides to come (even if it's early like her brother) that we are ready for her so that we can really enjoy the beginning of her life. As much as you can with little to no sleep anyway! We'll see how it goes :)

He can fly!

It's official. He's a boy. Last night, Ethan declared his ability to fly. While reading an art book with Dan, they came across a picture of a cherub. Dan asked Ethan if he had wings like the cherub. Ethan, quite sure of himself, said "there they are" while pointing to his back. Dan then asked Ethan if he used his wings to fly and Ethan responded "Yes, I do". He then proceeded to example his flying skills by backing up, squatting to the floor, quickly popping up, leaping in the air while flapping his "wings" screaming "fly, fly" and jumping over Dan - quickly and forcefully landing on the floor. Dan and I both paused, expecting cries and claims of boo boos, but instead, Ethan resumed his flying position and proceeded to fly over Dan no less than 6 more times. Ethan's only pause was to ask Dan if he was okay when he saw Dan laughing so hard that he was crying. It was too cute.